Equalizing is one of the most confounding and challenging things for parents of PDA children and teens (especially if there are siblings involved). But there are ways to support your child’s nervous system that can reduce equalizing behavior, and learning and practicing them is a huge part of my three-month live Paradigm Shift Program®. 🩷 Not sure if your child is PDA? Our free 6-minute survey can help you figure it out. Comment “PDAQBeta” and we’ll send you the link. xoxo, Casey | At Peace Par
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Equalizing is one of the most confounding and challenging thin…
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Example of “equalizing behavior” in a PDA child -
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Example of “equalizing behavior” in a PDA child -
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Ever wonder why your neurodivergent child always has to get the last word? Or why they point out your mistakes the second you correct theirs? That’s equalizing behavior. For autistic and ADHD kids, being corrected can feel like a sudden jarring drop in status or safety. Their brain perceives a power imbalance and goes into “leveling” mode. What’s actually happening: 👉 The mimicry: they’re mirroring your tone to feel “equal” again. 👉 The finger pointing: they’re trying to prove they aren’t the
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Ever wonder why your neurodivergent child always has t…
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This is a “real life” example of lowering demands, signaling nervous system safety and diffusing equalizing behavior. This took me a long time to learn and a lot of nervous system work on MY reactivity in order to do this consistently and calmly. Also, like you, I am human. I make mistakes, it’s messy (like my house), and imperfect. It’s not about perfection. It is about creating a new baseline to come back to and operating from a new logic. ❤️‍🩹 You got this! Are you ready to move beyond infor
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This is a “real life” example of lowering demands, signaling nerv…
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Relate? 😝 This is a perfect example of “equalizing” - a PDA child needing to feel “above” a safe person to get back to perceived safety. This is nervous-system driven behavior. 👉 not goal-oriented 👉 not a “lack of skills” 👉 not even under their conscious control And as parents we have a “decision point” when this happens: we can activate them by trying to teach or correct in the moment OR we can let it gooooooooo… I know this is hard, I know your nervous system is activated, I know it feels
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Relate? 😝 This is a perfect example of “equalizing” - a PDA child needin…
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If we want to change behavior, we have to stop asking “How do I stop it?” and start asking “Why is it happening?” All behavior is a form of communication. Before children have strong communication, behavior often becomes their way of saying: “I need help.” “I want something.” “I need a break.” “I need you.” In ABA, we look at the function of behavior, or what the child is trying to get or avoid. Most behaviors fall into one of four categories: • To get attention • To get access to something they
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